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Marriage like any other relationship is never perfect. Even the best of marriages tumble. Most experts agree that the key to a successful and loving marriage is hard work, commitment and constant re-evaluation of our expectations in addition to how we communicate. Sounds easy enough, but in reality, it’s easier saying than doing. Speaking to a few marriage therapists and Muslim counselors, I asked them what they noticed to be the most common niggly issues that couples face. Of course, there were more complex problems like infidelity and drugs, but other top issues might be surprising. 1. I Love You…Now Change This seems to be one of the biggest issues most couples face. Spouses so often try to change the other to a version that they would love more. The very qualities that were cute in the beginning turn into something that causes much resentment and contempt. If you married a slob, he will not automatically change into a neat and orderly person because you want hi...

A 19-year-old Sudanese woman who was forced to marry against her will has been sentenced to death for fatally stabbing her husband while he raped her. The case of Noura Hussein, who has said that she was held down by her husband’s relatives as he raped her, has sparked a nationwide discussion in a country where forced marriages are widespread — children can married off by their families at age 10 — and marital rape is legal. On Thursday, a judge in Omdurman sentenced Hussein to death after her husband’s family refused options to pardon her or accept financial compensation and demanded her execution instead. Hussein, who was forcibly married off by her father at the age of 15, had escaped her husband’s clutches for three years by running away from home and living with an aunt. But after she was deceived into returning home, her father turned her over to her husband’s family who then aided in her rape after she refused to consummate the marriage. HORRIFIC!!! “Forced to marr...

Questions: There are two things that may happen during intercourse or foreplay between a man and his wife, which is where the woman may reach climax but not emit anything, or she may reach it and emit something. But I have read something that says that if the woman sees discharge then she has to do ghusl, but in fact there are two types of discharge – one is the well known “maniy” and the other is vaginal secretions. My question is: if a man engages in foreplay with his wife and she reaches climax but does not emit anything, does she become junub and thus is obliged to do ghusl Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Firstly: Both spouses should know that there are two things which make ghusl obligatory with regard to intimate acts: -1- Intercourse, which is when his private part enters the wife’s private part, even if he does not ejaculate. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When ...

Questions: Salam. I want to convert my religion to Islam as I love this religion since childhood and many of my friends are Muslims. I know the first kalima, but I don’t know how to convert and I am jobless and homeless. Is there any facility available for a few days where I can accept Islam and get a job somewhere so I can survive as my parents won’t allow me after converting to Islam. Answer: Salam Dear Dheeraj, Thank you very much for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam. We pray to Allah Almighty to help you and guide you in your search for the truth of Islam. The word “Muslim” means one who submits to the will of God, irrespective of their race, color or nationality. Becoming a Muslim is a simple and easy process that requires no pre-conditions; it is a spiritual transformation that automatically takes place within the soul of a person. However, outwardly a person becomes a Muslim, when he or she bears witness to the truth of Islam ...

Q uestion: As-salamu Alaykum.I have some problems and I need help from you. In July, I will be married to a man from Sweden. He is ready to become a Muslim, but I know he wants to become Muslim because he wants to marry me. He wants to learn about Islam because before he didn’t believe in religion. So, I hope someone can give information about Islam to my boyfriend. After marriage, I will stay in Sweden, his country. Are there Muslims in Sweden? Where can I meet a teacher in Sweden for Kenneth (my boyfriend)? We will stay in Vetlanda. Please, I need help from you. Thanks. A nswer: Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam. To start with, it’s very important to ask yourself why you want your boyfriend to become a Muslim. Is it simply so that you can get married in a way that will be culturally acceptable in Indonesia? Or are you really concerned about Kenneth’s afterlife? If it is the latter, then your best option is to pray for his gui...

Q uestions: As-Salamu Aleikom. I recently decided to get married; even my parents have started looking for a religious girl for me. What makes me worried is that I don’t feel attracted to intercourse. Frankly speaking, I used to watch blue films in my teenage years and read porn magazines along with frequent masturbation. Nowadays, I masturbate much less, but I feel some pain in my penis during erection. I don’t have erection automatically either when watching blue films. I need to add to it that I run my own business which often makes me worried. Should I marry now? Will I face any problem which might cause disturbance in satisfying my wife sexually A nswer: As-Salaamu ‘Alaykum, Congratulations on deciding to take this important step. May Allah (swt) bless your marriage. It’s true that the more a person looks at porn, the harder it is for them to be aroused by a real woman. Therefore, many brothers and sisters harm their marriage before even looking for spouses. Suc...

Questions: Assalam alikum, I am a 28-year-old man. I have been married for 7 months now. It was an arranged marriage. My mother showed me 2-3 pictures of my future wife. I saw and liked those pictures and agreed to the marriage. I saw her the first time on the engagement day. I saw her couple of times after the engagement. I was quite happy as she is a religious girl, she is a doctor. My mother gave me a very good feedback about the girl and her family. Just before one month prior to nikah, we spoke over the phone a few times and chatted on WhatsApp. I know this was wrong according to sharia as she was a non-mahram to me. After nikah only I saw her closely. In reality, she has average in looks. She is little short. I assumed she would be taller as it was written in her profile which was given to me. I thought she is very beautiful. I did not share this problem with anyone. However, I don’t really feel attached to her. Maybe because of her average looks. It ...

Q uestion: Salam. I like a girl for 4 years. We used to talk as friends, but recently I made it clear indirectly that I like her as more than just a friend. As a practicing Muslim, I know I shouldn't talk to her, but I really like this girl and want to marry her. The problem is that she is not at all practicing as a Muslim. She doesn't pray or wear hijab, and she has male friends. Despite all, I can't get rid of thinking of her. Shall I ask her if she also likes me? How can I help her to become a practicing Muslim? I am going through a big dilemma. Please help me. A nswer: Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam, Your feelings towards this girl appear to be present for quite a long time. One thing you should keep in mind is the underlying fact that we don’t necessarily get attracted to someone on the basis of religion and that having feelings toward someone from the opposite gender is completely normal. It’s just the way Allah (swt) created us. We can’t help it. Girls will be a...